Help for family of gamblers: support for you, your money and your safety

You are not the only one

If someone close to you is gambling too much, help exists for you as well as for them, and it is free. Start with a call to 1800 858 858 or a chat at Gambling Help Online. The service supports family members and friends, not just the person gambling.

You are in large company. The AIHW reports that 6.0% of Australian adults say they have been harmed by another person's gambling, most often a family member, friend or work colleague. The most common harms were feeling angry, distressed or hopeless about it, and more tension and conflict at home. An Australian Gambling Research Centre study cites an old Productivity Commission estimate that each person with a gambling problem affects about seven people around them.

In that study of family members who used Gambling Help Online, almost 80% often felt sadness, anxiety, stress or anger because of someone else's gambling, and about two-thirds said it often affected their relationship with that person.

Signs that someone close to you is gambling harmfully

healthdirect groups the warning signs that other people notice into financial, behavioural and mental health changes. Examples it gives include:

• borrowing money often
• bills going unpaid
• more conflict with others
• changes in mood

The person may also be lying about how much they gamble, missing important events, or relying on others for money after big losses, which are signs healthdirect lists for the gambler's own self-check. None of these proves anything on its own. Several together are worth taking seriously. Our gambling addiction guide lists the signs from the gambler's side too.

How to raise it

How you start the conversation matters more than finding perfect words. Gambling Help Online suggests:

1. Pick your moment. A time when they seem open to talking, you are calm, and neither of you is rushed. Not straight after a loss or an argument.
2. Plan it. Think about how past difficult talks have gone and what helped or made things worse.
3. Know your goal. Decide the one or two things you most want to say, such as "I'm worried about you" and "I need us to sort out the money".
4. Expect a range of reactions. They may be relieved and open up. They may play it down, get defensive, or simply not be ready. That does not mean the conversation failed.

Speak about what you have seen and how it affects you, rather than labelling them. "I saw $600 go out last week and I'm scared about rent" lands differently from "you're an addict".

If there is any history of violence or aggression, do not have this conversation alone. Gambling Help Online is clear that you should never put yourself in harm's way to support someone else. A counsellor can help you plan a safer approach.

Boundaries: what helps and what enables

Loving someone through a gambling problem often means saying no. Gambling Help Online lists several habits that can enable gambling to continue, alongside the ones that genuinely help.

Boundaries protect both of you. Explain them as that, not as punishment.

Protecting your money

Money is the most practical place to start protecting yourself. Steps from Gambling Help Online and Victoria's Better Health Channel include:

• separating access to money, for example an account in your own name for your income and essential bills
• no longer bailing them out of gambling debts or other bills the gambling has left unpaid
• helping them set limits on access to cash and credit
• a trusted person helping manage day-to-day money for a while, if they agree
• moving important assets, such as a car or property title, into a partner's or trusted person's name, where that is appropriate

A financial counsellor is free and can look at your situation in detail, including joint debts. Call the National Debt Helpline on 1800 007 007, or ask the gambling helpline for a gambling financial counsellor. Our gambling deposit limits page explains the limit tools licensed bookmakers must offer, which can help if they are willing to use them.

Your safety and your children

Your safety comes first. If you feel threatened or unsafe, call 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732, 24/7, and in an emergency call 000. The Australian Gambling Research Centre's 2024 national study found that 18.9% of people whose partner gambled weekly or more reported intimate partner violence from that partner, compared with 6.8% where the partner did not gamble.

Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800 is free, 24/7 and anonymous for young people aged 5 to 25. In Victoria, Gambler's Help Youthline on 1800 262 376 supports people under 25.

Support for you

These services are for the people around the gambler, not only the gambler.

Our gambling addiction counselling page lists the service in every state.

Bans and exclusions

Self-exclusion tools such as BetStop are, as the name says, set up by the person who gambles, and our self-exclusion guide explains what each covers. Family can act in at least one case. In NSW, GambleAware says you can apply to have a loved one with a gambling problem banned from the casino, but not from pubs and clubs. Ask 1800 858 858 what is possible in your state.

If they are ready to change, how to stop gambling is a practical plan you can work through together.

Pundit tip: you cannot make someone stop gambling, but you can protect yourself and keep the door open. Getting your own support is not giving up on them.

For crisis support at any hour, call Lifeline on 13 11 14. More services are listed on our gambling help Australia page.

Related reading

Guide How to stop gambling Stopping gambling is easier with a plan than with willpower alone. These seven steps cover access, money, urges, triggers and support, plus what to do if you slip. Read more Guide Gambling addiction Gambling addiction means you keep gambling even when it is hurting you. Here are the signs health services look for, how common it is in Australia, and the free help that is open right now. Read more Guide Gambling laws Australian gambling regulation has two layers: Canberra decides what can be sold online, and the states and territories license everything else. Here is how the pieces fit, with a guide for every jurisdiction. Read more Guide Self-exclusion BetStop blocks you from every licensed Australian bookmaker for 3 months up to life. Here is how it works, what it does not cover, and the other tools that close the gaps. Read more Guide Gambling counselling Gambling counselling costs nothing in Australia, and you can start tonight by phone or chat. Here is every way in, the service in your state and what actually happens in a session. Read more Guide Deposit limits Every licensed Australian betting account must let you set a binding deposit limit. Lowering it is instant, raising it takes a week. Here is how the rules work and how to choose a number you will stick to. Read more